a self-portrait summary of the weather here

#little-upstate-ny-things

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anyway bbl cuz poor mom is outside in the -11 wind chill shoveling the driveway to fit my CAR (OH SHIT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THAT I’LL POST PICS LATER) and I feel bad cuz im in here being a lazy shit.

Ima go help her.

pretty freaked out cuz last night was the SECOND time in the month I’ve had some type of dream about getting brain or spinal surgery.  <:’S

I feel like talking about it so I guess I’ll put it under a cut (don’t read if brain/spinal surgery/hospital stuff or mention of terminal illness freaks you out) 

last night’s was like, I found out I had some kind of growth on my spine in my neck, and so I was freaked out about it, and since I was so stressed out I got into a fight with a teenager that took one of my sketchbooks and started ripping it up? But it was like, I was just trying to stop him from fucking up my sketchbook and he flipped out and was trying to hit me with rocks but I was able to get them away from him before he could deal any damaging blows and he tired himself out so much that he ran off and like almost passed out? And I found out later that this wasn’t the first time he’d gotten hurt in a fight but last time the parents had sued the other person for “attacking him” when it was the little shit that started it and was trying to fuckin KILL ME WITH ROCKS.  But I got out of it because I had to be rushed to the hospital cuz some results came back and they had to do surgery on me like RIGHT AWAY and they said it was gonna take like 11 hours and it was so fucking scary holy shit, mom was there and she seemed really worried and they weren’t telling me much, except I knew it was bad because I asked mom if I was gonna be ok and she didn’t answer.  wtf are my dreams anymore…

The other one was weirder tho- it was like, the future I guess? And they had these mind enhancing surgeries you could participate in to help your vision/cognitive abilities etc but it was new so i was one of the test people and got it for free or something- but basically all it was was them sticking a needle in the back of your neck and it hit??? some nerve? and somehow that made you superhuman LOL but omfg it was one of those dreams where you could actually feel pain and it was freaky and I had to learn how to take the special needle out and put it back in and just -shivers-

gross

so i finally pulled out the fucker eyelash that’s been scraping my eye eVERY TIME I BLINK. Feels so fuckin good to blink without it feeling like someone is dragging a tiny needle across my fucking cornea.  Seriously kids, trichiasis sucks balls

FINALLY, FINALLY GOT AROUND TO GIVING MY SNAILS SOME MILK BONES.  Let’s see how they like em UvU if they are anything like other snails people on tumblr own, they’ll be nuts about them.

Gonna be so happy if they do like em tho because I always feel guilty for not being able to give them a good variety and the dog bones are basically like multi vitamins for the babies.  They have a lot of different things in them that are good for growin snail babs.

and with that i bid u all goodnight dshjkfdljn im sorry im such a bitter shitbag about valentines day i just dkfslgj it sucks so much

tbh I hope someday I can have a bf that hates valentines day as much as I do and we can both aggressively not celebrate it or celebrate it by giving none of our money to the fucked up capitalist ruse it is and just staying home and doing something simple and nice and instead, celebrating the day AFTER valentine’s day when all the candy is marked down and we can buy ridiculous amounts of it for really cheap as a fuck you to the holiday and also because we fucking love candy.

i need to update my blog’s fandom list to include lotr and the hobbit and MCU i guess now…

fjldkdgn i am deeply invested in way too many things.  I am just this giant vessel full of boiling fanboy for so many thingsdhjskflk

so bloody angry i could just scream and put my fists through the wall but i cant make a scene in the house people will get mad and ask me what’s wrong.